


Part of Your World

by AmaranthPrincess21



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, freak show au, merman!erwin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-02-21 21:06:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2482433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmaranthPrincess21/pseuds/AmaranthPrincess21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What was supposed to be a fun night out with friends turns into a horrifying ordeal when you step into a freak show and the performers take a liking to you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Do I really have to go? I mean, these kinds of shows are kinda degrading,” you argued, trying to get your arm out of your new friend Ymir’s grip.

“Come on, it’ll be fun! And it’s not like there’s anything else to do in this town except sit on the beach and surf,” Ymir countered, dragging you into the abandoned theater along with her girlfriend Krista. Your family was on vacation in the beach town of Trost and you had befriended two professional surfers, Ymir and Krista, during your first few days of vacation. Ymir had found a flyer for a freak show being held in an old theater and insisted you and Krista come with her. 

“She’s got a point. And besides, this isn’t the 1800’s. I’m sure they’re just a lot of talented folks with lots of tattoos and piercings, or something,” Krista tried to convince you. You sighed, shrugging. 

“I hope so.” The freak show troupe clearly had but a lot of work into renovating the inside of the theater. Velvet curtains, brilliantly shining gold paint, fantastical illustrations of their performers: it was rather tastefully done. _Maybe Krista’s right. Maybe I’m just being old-fashioned._

While waiting in line to enter the show room, you surveyed the posters lining the walls. There was a boy turning into a huge monster, a girl producing diamonds out of her body and throwing them into a very appreciative crowd, a tall boy turning into muscles and thin strips of flesh, an Asian girl holding up a minivan with performers inside, and various contortionists and performers. _Wow, looks like they’ve got a pretty interesting line up,_ you thought, [e/c] eyes lazily going down the line. Your eyes found another poster, one that made your eyes widened. In tanks were three happy, smiling merpeople. There were two men and one woman, all swimming around their tank and looking thrilled with life. By the bright hues in the poster, you figured it was made more recently than some of the others. _Mermaids? Now there’s a job I could do. Swimming around with a pretty tail sounds fun._

“Ugh, I can’t believe they lost their two mermaids. Like, how hard is it to just find a good swimmer and have them wear a fake tail?” someone behind you complained. 

“I know. I mean the one left is hella attractive, but I mean, hiring new people, especially in a beach town full of strong swimmers, shouldn’t be hard,” the person’s friend complained. _They lost some performers? How did that happen?_ You three reached the entrance of the show room and paid for entry, quickly finding seats in the nosebleed section. You turned off your cell phone and in a few minutes the lights dimmed and the show began. A tall, slender man with long brown hair walked onto the stage, a mic in hand. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to our freak show!” the man said in a robust voice. The decently-sized crowd went wild, applauding and cheering. “What we have for you tonight are the rarities of the world! Everything you see tonight is genuine. I’ve spent years recruiting only the legitimate and most talented of all the world’s freaks. I implore you to keep an open mind tonight and let yourself be blown away by just what nature has to offer us as entertainment!” _I, uh. That doesn’t sound that great, but I’ll roll with it I guess,_ you cringed, clapping politely. “Our first act is a very dear one to me. A boy that, by inflicting harm upon himself, can turn into a monstrous creature. Please give a welcoming round of applause for The Titan!” 

The man walked offstage as a middle-aged woman with a black side ponytail and glamorous dress walked on, hand in hand with a well-dressed teenage boy. The woman stepped off to the side, letting the boy take center stage. In a grand gesture he raised his hand, waving to the crowd. A few chuckles went to through the crowd. _He must be a natural born performer,_ you thought, taking in his infectious smile. The boy bit down hard on his hand and a bright flash of light briefly painted the theater in white. You closed your eyes for a second to protect them and when you opened them again, the boy was no longer there. Instead a towering, humanoid creature stood in his place with the same chocolate brown hair and vibrant green eyes as the boy. _What the hell?! How can they manage a trick that huge?! Damn, this troupe must really have their shit together!_ The creature let out a piercing shriek, and the crowd burst into cheers. You found yourself among them, cheering on this monstrous being. _I wonder how they did that. Maybe it’s just a huge puppet?_ The Titan carried on doing certain tasks such as building a simplistic house frame before tearing it down, regenerating any extremities that were cut off, and even moving around lights to make a light how. When his portion of the show was over, The Titan sat down and the boy sprung out of the creature’s neck, taking a well-deserved bow as the huge body behind him started to seemingly evaporate. By the time the boy left the stage, the body was entirely gone. 

“Pretty cool, huh?” Ymir whispered to you. “Told you this would be worth the trip.” 

“Next up, we have a girl that can grow diamonds on her skin. And, luckily for everyone in our audience, she’s very generous. Please welcome Diamond Annie!” Applause filled the room as a short blonde girl walked onto the stage, wearing a pink, gold, and silver sequined romper. When she turned her back to the audience, you saw her outfit was backless. A cheesy drum roll played from the orchestra pit as the girl hunched forward ever so slightly. Her body visibly tensed up and from your spot close to the stage you could hear her breathing waver. The pale flesh of her back tore apart as clear diamonds cut through her skin. An audible gasp went through the crowd as her back became polka dotted with precious stones and striped with small streams of blood. 

“Observe,” the show leader announced, taking a pair of unusually large tweezers. Slowly, he pulled out one of the diamonds. The girl winced. The crowd cheered as he handed the jewel off to the black-haired assistant, who proceeded to clean the diamond and throw it into the crowd. _God, this troupe_ really _has their shit together,_ you thought as more and more diamonds were thrown into the audience. _They must have a really good special effects and make up team._ One of the diamonds came your way and you caught it, placing it in your pocket for safe keeping. 

The rest of the acts were very entertaining and incredibly well done. It was enough to make you forget that it was all fake. They brought The Titan back on and he sang a duet with one of the aerialists, a young woman with pretty ginger hair. _He’s pretty good,_ you thought, clapping as the show leader came back on. 

“For our last show of the night, we have a very special act. A few days ago my son and I were walking on the beach when we came across a peculiar find. Many freak shows claim they have mermaids, but I assure you all of those are fakes. We are the only freak show with a genuine merman.” As he spoke, The Titan and the black-haired woman pushed a huge water tank onto the stage. Inside was a very handsome man with a shining, gleaming fish tail made of blue scales. _Holy shit._ That _is what I call a mermaid tail!_ “Please make orderly lines up to the stage. Yes, come on stage to see this majestic creature up close! We thank you for attending our show and we hope we will see you again in the near future!” Krista and Ymir were up on stage in no time, in the crowd surrounding the tank. _Wow. This show is pretty legit. A plus to their crew making all of this come to life,_ you thought as you hung back on the stage, letting everyone else have a turn at seeing the merman. 

“You know, you can get closer to see him,” a feminine voice said. The black-haired woman joined your side, smiling gently. 

“Yeah, I know. I’m just letting the crowd thin out before I do,” you said. 

“Ah, that makes sense.” She paused for a brief moment as if wondering whether or not to keep up the conversation. In the end, she decided to. “He’s been awfully lonely the past few weeks. We acquired him and two fellow merpeople the first day we got into town. His male companion died a few days after and his female companion died two weeks ago. I feel so bad for him. He refuses to talk to anyone and he hardly eats. I wish we could get another one of his kind for him,” she divulged wistfully and mournfully. _Well, someone takes their story very seriously._

“That’s awful,” you said, deciding to indulge her. _They’re dedicated actors, I’ll give them that._

“We’ve tried to find some more merpeople so he has company, but so far we haven’t been able to get another one,” she sighed. “If he doesn’t bounce back soon I worry for his health. He’s really quite the sweetheart and I would hate to lose him. His female companion was very wonderful too. She was very close with my son Eren, The Titan. I was very sad to see her go.” 

“I’m sorry for your loss, ma’am,” you replied. She sighed again and then tried to put on a brave face. 

“We’re hoping our fortune will turn around and we’ll find another one soon,” she said. The crowd thinned out and you two stepped forward. The merman looked like he would be very tall and his tail swayed side to side elegantly. Your eyes met his piercing blue ones; a shiver went down your back as he stared right back at you. He was quite good-looking and the strong urge to run your fingers through his blond hair arose in you. He put on of his webbed hands up to the glass as if inviting you to mirror him. _Jesus. Is_ everyone _here that dedicated to performance?_

The room slowly emptied out until you were the last customer in the room. _Shit. Ymir and Krista must be waiting for me._ You turned to the black-haired woman, who now had the show leader’s arm around her waist. _Are they married,_ you wondered, eyeing his arm around her waist. _That’s pretty cute. Husband, wife, and child all working together._

“Thank you for tonight. You have an incredible show,” you told them, giving them a warm smile. 

“Thank you, miss. That means a lot to us,” he said, tipping his top hat to you. 

“Have a good night,” you told them before turning to walk away. Giving the handsome merman one last glance, you started walking towards the stage stairs. _This was actually really fun. I’m going to have to forgive Y –_

A strong arm wrapped around your waist like a boa constrictor. You screamed, thrashing against your captor. A pungent-smelling rag engulfed your face. _Why won’t anyone help me?! I can hear you bastards taking that tank offstage! Unless . . . unless it’s one of their own taking me?_

Black swirled in your mind and soon it was the only thing in your mind as you passed out. 

  


_Oh God, my head is killing me. Where am I?_ Your eyes flickered open as you gained consciousness. A few lone bright lights shined down harshly on you, making you squint as it burned your eyes. _Am I in a tent?_ Richly colored velvet curtains surrounded you on all sides. _Am I still at the freak show? This can’t be a tent. Who pitches a tent with velvet curtains? Did I get hurt? Everything certainly hurts. My hips and tummy are killing me,_ you thought, trying to gently stretch. The creaking of an old door opening rang through the room. You tried to sit up to see who it was, but as pain shot through your whole body, you gave up the pursuit. 

“I wouldn’t move just yet. You’re still healing,” a man’s voice announced. As he walked to your bedside, you recognized him as the show leader. 

“Where am I? What happened? I don’t remember anything,” you told him. _I’m healing? Healing from_ what? 

“You’re in the makeshift medical trailer. You came with two friends to our freak show,” the man said. He patted you on the shoulder. “I’m Dr. Yeager, head of the freak show and medical team.” 

“I’m [First] [Last]. I-I’m still confused, though. Why am I still here?” you asked. “Is the show still going on? Did I pass out?” 

“The show ended days ago. Your two friends went home, already,” he explained. _What? I’ve been here for days?!_ He opened his mouth to keep talking, but sharp rapping on the door cut him off. “Come in,” he called. A young brunet man with vibrant green eyes walked in. _He looks familiar,_ you thought, giving him an odd look. _Oh! Now I remember! He’s that guy that turns into that big creature. What did the woman call him . . . Eren! His name’s Eren!_

“Dad, Annie and Armin want to make a food run since we’re stopped. Is it okay if I go with?” he asked. 

“You can go with Armin, but Annie’s not going anywhere,” Dr. Yeager said. “She’s been through a rough night tonight and I don’t want her walking around. Her wounds can get infected.” Eren’s face fell visibly, but he nodded. 

“I’ll let her know,” he replied. He caught your eye and gave you a small, warm smile. “Hey, how’re you holding up?” he asked tenderly. 

“I-I’m hurting a little, but I’m fine, I guess,” you replied. 

“I can pick you up some food, if you like,” he offered. “Although . . . we _were_ going to do a seafood run which I guess you can’t eat, can you? I can go by In N Out or something and grab you food there.” He shifted his weight uneasily. _Why does he look nervous? What’s going on?_

“I can eat seafood,” you informed him. 

“Eren, I don’t think she’s well enough to have solid food yet. And you’re not feeding her seafood,” Dr. Yeager added harshly. 

“Right. I’ll pick you up some non-seafood soup, then, if you want,” he said. 

“Thank you, Eren. But really, I should be getting back to my parents. They’re probably worried about where I am,” you said. “We’re leaving for home tomorrow and I still need to pack my things.” An awkward silence fell on the room. Dr. Yeager’s face was grim and Eren looked plain uncomfortable at your words, eyes refusing to look at you. 

“You won’t be leaving us, [First],” Dr. Yeager said slowly. 

“Wait, what? I-I . . . Are you kidnapping me?!” you demanded angrily. 

“I’m sorry, but it was our only option. You have to understand, freak shows these days are very hard to fund. We keep needing to bring in new acts to keep interest up,” he explained slowly. 

“But I don’t have any weird talents,” you told him. “I need to go home!” 

“We’re aware you don’t have any unusual talents. [First], we . . . You seemed very taken with Erwin and he seemed rather taken with you,” he commented. 

“Erwin?” you questioned, raising an eyebrow. 

“Our merman,” Eren answered for you. 

“Oh. Yeah, his tail was incredible. How much money did you have to pay for that? I know those tails go for like a million dollars, twelve virgins, and your firstborn child on Etsy,” you said. Eren laughed while Dr. Yeager smirked slightly. 

“We didn’t pay anything for Erwin. We found him in Trost; I wasn’t lying when I was talking to the audience,” Dr. Yeager said. 

“Whoa, whoa, hold up. You’re telling me that he’s a _real_ merman?” you demanded. 

“He’s as real as the earth,” Dr. Yeager replied. “His two companions, however, didn’t fair well with being in our tanks. Despite my efforts, they got sick and died. Erwin’s been very lonely and refuses to talk to anyone. You saw him in person. You saw how gaunt he looked. I thought maybe Eren and I could find another merperson. Sadly, we’ve had no luck. But you, however, were very taken with him and I thought perhaps you would make a fitting companion for him.” 

“B-but I’m not a mermaid,” you told him. 

“Eren, help her sit up. And be gentle with her. She might be exceeding expectations but I don’t want to aggravate anything,” Dr. Yeager warned him. 

“Aggravate _what?”_ you demanded, voice dangerously. Your heart was racing, fear starting to rise in you as Eren’s arm gently snaked under your back and propped you up. Where your legs should have been was a large mermaid tail covered in silvery, iridescent scales. A row of ugly, thick black stitches and several medical staples connected the tail to your body. You could see your skin and the scales meshing together. 

Your horrified screaming pierced through the silence. The nausea in your stomach hit you like a tidal wave and boiling hot vomit spluttered out of your mouth and onto your stomach. Dr. Yeager burst into action, wiping up the mess before it reached your stitches. 

_“What did you do to me?!”_ you screeched, tears pouring out of your eyes. 

“We made you into a mermaid. I thought that was obvious,” Dr. Yeager commented, rolling his eyes. 

“Change me back! Take this fucking thing off of me! Where are my legs?! I want my legs back! Take this fucking tail off of me!” you roared, fire in your watering eyes as you glared at him. 

“I can’t do that, [First]. This whole procedure was an experiment that went beyond my expectations and succeeded. And even if I could reverse it, I wouldn’t. You’re one of our headliners now,” he said. 

“I don’t want this! I wanna go home!” you screamed. 

“You’re not going home. You’re one of us now. Just rest up. You need to heal, and then we’ll transfer you into Erwin’s tank. Eren, go grab her some soup, or a smoothie, or a milkshake, or some of that bubble tea Annie’s always on a quest for. But nothing solid. Not until I know her body can handle it.” Eren nodded. 

“What would you like me to get you?” he asked you. 

“I don’t care,” you replied sourly, folding your arms across your chest. 

“I’ll just get you one of each.” He let you down gently and patted your shoulder. “I’ll be back in an hour or so, Dad.” 

“All right. Stay safe, Eren.” The teenage boy left the room. Dr. Yeager picked up a tray of medical equipment and placed it on your bedside. 

“While you’re awake, I’m going to do a check up and make sure you’re healthy and everything’s in order,” he told you. You nodded, trying to hold the rest of the tears back. _How am I going to get home now? I don’t wanna be here and I don’t want this. I don’t want any of this. I just wanna go home._


	2. Chapter 2

Being on the road constantly was something you weren’t used to. While you healed you stayed in the Yeager’s spacious RV, sharing a room with Eren and his adopted sister Mikasa. According to her, your kidnapping had resulted in a statewide search. Naturally, that meant the freak show was travelling far, far away and staying low until the public forgot about you.

“We’re heading to the Bahamas,” Eren was telling you as he, Mikasa, and yourself ate lunch in your shared bedroom. Dr. Yeager had deemed you healthy enough for solid food and in celebration Eren, during a pit stop, bought a feast fit for a king consisting of fast food.

“Why there?” you asked, leaning over the edge of the kiddie pool you were in to reach your food on the coffee table. “Does he think the tropics will help me into transitioning into mermaiddom, or something?” you finished snarkily before taking the final bite of your burger.

“No idea. Maybe he just thinks it’d get us some good revenue. After all, we haven’t had a show in three months. We’ve lost a lot of money. Maybe with all of the tourists in the Bahamas, it’ll help us recuperate,” Mikasa shrugged, taking a sip of her strawberry milkshake.

“I know it won’t happen but I would like to swim. My body is getting sore just sitting in a tiny pool all day,” you commented.

“I can imagine,” she said sympathetically.

“I overheard Mom and Dad talking. I think on our next pit stop he’s going to move you over to Erwin’s RV,” Eren said.

“Really?” you asked. In all your time with the troupe, you hadn’t formally met Erwin yet. Dr. Yeager had been adamant about keeping you two apart until he deemed you healthy enough to move into Erwin’s quarters with him. 

“Honestly, it’s disgusting you haven’t been moved in with Erwin yet,” Mikasa said sternly. “You need someone who sort of gets it to look after you, not our dad.”

“True. It’d be nice to know someone else with a tail. And have a bigger space,” you lamented, pouting at your small pool. A knock on the door announced the arrival of Carla Yeager, Eren’s mother and Dr. Yeager’s wife.

“I hope you all left room for dessert!” she said in a singsong voice, putting a platter of cupcakes on the coffee table, complimented with a pitcher of milk and three glasses. “I have to go check on the cheesecake, but when you’re done call me in and tell me how these are! It’s a new recipe so I don’t know how good they are.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Eren said, standing up and giving his mother a hug.  _God, he’s such a mama’s boy. It’s so freaking cute,_ you giggled. She left the room as you all grabbed a cupcake. Even though you disliked life on the road, you had to admit the one good thing about it was the perk of eating Carla’s delicious cooking. Your teeth dug into the soft, moist cupcake. The vanilla taste melted onto your tongue, cinnamon swirling around your taste buds.

“Oh my God,” you said, swallowing the scrumptious bite. “Carla! These cupcakes are holier than Jesus!” you yelled to her.

“Thank you, [First]!” she yelled back, laughter evident in her voice.

“I’ll have to admit, once I’m moved I’m gonna miss hanging out with you guys and your mom’s cooking,” you admitted, taking another bite of the cupcake.

  
  


“Careful, Reiner! She’s not a sack of potatoes you can swing about any which way!” Carla reprimanded the burly teen. It was in the middle of the night and if it hadn’t been for the exterior lights on the RV’s, it would have been pitch black outside. Reiner carried you from the Yeager’s RV to Erwin’s, his footing not too solid as he stepped in gopher holes. Your arms clung to him for dear life as he transported you, and once he got into the RV you felt a wave of relief hit you. _Oh thank God, he didn’t drop me,_ you thought as he walked through the living room and into the back. The entire back room had a giant bathtub, basically. It wasn’t ideal, but anything was better than the kiddie pool. You could see a few contraptions meant to keep the water clean and a raised lip around the fixture to keep water from spilling onto the floor. Reiner got onto on a few steps and dropped you into the water. It was warm and comforting, like a hug from a close friend. Two hammocks made of some sort of cloth were strung half in the water and half out of it. In one of them lay Erwin, fast asleep. His blue scales shone like stars in the light. _I wish he was awake. I would’ve liked to introduce myself tonight,_ you thought, clinging to the side of the tub.

“You think you can swim over to your hammock?” Eren asked, standing behind Reiner.

“Of course I can,” you said with false bravado. _I really hope I don’t fuck this up,_ you thought, pushing off the edge of the tub and swimming towards the hammock. _Okay, this is fucking weird,_ you cringed, awkward at your swimming motions. _I feel like a worm, or something. At least I don’t have to go too far._ Your fingers gripped the nylon of the hammock, hauling yourself onto the wet material. _Oh my God, this is so much more comfy than that kiddie pool._ A quiet round of applause broke out, everyone beaming at you.

“If you need anything, Reiner, Annie, and Bertolt are in the living room in their beds,” Carla told you. “Good night, [First]”

“All right, thank you. Good night, everyone.” Everyone left to their own RVs in a crowd of excitement. Annie lingered at the entrance to your room.

“I’m gonna shut the door, if that’s all right with you,” she said.

“Yes, please,” you egged her own, gesturing with your hand. “Good night, Annie.”

“Night,” she replied tersely, turning away and shutting the door quietly behind her. You barely had time to breathe before you felt a presence beside you.

“So, you’re the new mermaid,” a deep voice greeted you.

“I guess if you count three months as a mermaid new, then yeah,” you countered, turning towards the voice. With the door shut and the curtains closed, there was no light in the room.

“I would count that as new. I’m Erwin,” he introduced himself.

“I’m [First],” you replied. “So, uh. Are you like a legit merman, or did Dr. Yeager fuck you up too?” He chuckled. 

“I was born a merman. My parents were merpeople, my grandparents are merpeople. My whole family is merpeople,” he told you. He paused. “I remember you from the show in Trost. I’m sorry about what happened to you.” 

“I am too,” you said. “I just want to get my legs back and go home.”

“I understand. I want to go home as well,” he replied.  _He’s probably been gone longer than I have,_ you realized, sympathy tugging at your heartstrings. 

“What’s your home like?” you asked quietly, staring up at the ceiling. 

“I’m from a small community of mermaids living around a tiny island in the Pacific. There’s a series of caves we live in. There are a lot of rivers, so we can travel throughout the island and we have it all to ourselves. Humans don’t go there. Why, I’m not exactly sure. But they don’t, so we have the entire place to ourselves. It’s a beautiful place.”

“How did you end up in California, then?” you questioned.

“I was a part of a survey mission looking for more islands so our community could start colonizing. We found a few small islands and a few of our team settled down there. My team, the elite of the elite, went on. We hoped to colonize some of the islands off of your coast, but they’re all pretty populated. My team and I unfortunately trespassed on a bull shark’s territory and in the scramble to get away from it we accidentally got beached. There were only three of us captured; the others were able to make it out alive. Levi and Hange, my two officers as well as my friends, died not too long after being captured.”

“I’m so sorry,” you said quietly reaching out to grab his shoulder. You couldn’t see in the darkness, and instead of your hand resting on one of his broad shoulders, it bumped into his head. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” you said, letting out a nervous laugh. He chuckled as well and you felt relief surge through you. _Oh thank God, he has a sense of humor,_ you sighed.

“I’d go to sleep soon if I were you,” he told you, swimming back to his own hammock. “We have a hard day tomorrow.”

“Why, what’s going on?” you asked, lying down and getting settled in the hammock.

“I’m teaching you how to live as a mermaid.” 

  
  


It felt like you had only been asleep for a few minutes when the sensation of someone shaking your shoulder woke you up. Yawning, you opened your eyes and stretched your body out. Erwin was by your side, large hand gripping your shoulder.

“What time is it?” you asked, shrugging his hand off and sitting up.

“Nine-thirty am,” a voice told you. In the doorway of the room stood Eren and Dr. Yeager. Eren carried a tray of food while his father had an assortment of medical equipment with him. “Breakfast is served” Eren said, sitting on the edge of the tank, his feet dangling in the water. Erwin helped you off of your hammock and swam to the edge of the tub to Eren. Whereas Erwin used his powerful tail to propel him forward, you used your arms like you had been taught to use when you were a child. Your tail flopped around awkwardly as you swam to the edge of the pool. “You’re getting pretty good,” Eren told you encouragingly, handing you a large smoothie.

“She’s still got a lot to learn,” Erwin commented, taking a banana off of the tray and eating it.

“Indeed she does. [First], how are you feel today?” Dr. Yeager asked.

“I’m feeling good,” you replied.

“Are you feeling up for some swim lessons?” he questioned.

“Yeah, I’m up for it once I get some food in my stomach,” you said. Dr. Yeager nodded, standing behind his son. Once you and Erwin finished breakfast, the three men decided it was time for business and went straight to your swimming lesson.

“Just swim from one side of the tank to the other,” Erwin directed you. “I want to see how you swim at the moment so I know what you need to improve on.”

“Okay,” you said.  _All right. Here I go._ Pushing off of the edge of the tank you swam forward, dragging your body through the water with your arms. Moving your tail was a foreign feeling to you and one you didn’t like. In a few strokes you reached the other end of the tank and turned around, swimming back to the other side. 

“All right, let’s start with the basics. Go to the center of the tank and float on  your back,” Erwin directed you, not giving you time to breathe. You obeyed him, nerves starting to build in your stomach. The muscular blond was beside you, looking down at your floating figure. His hands dipped under the water and held you up, one large hand between your shoulder blades and the other on the small of your back. Heat rose to your cheeks, tingling them pink.  _Damn it. Abort mission, abort!_ “I want you to focus on moving just your tail for now.” You nodded, exhaling slowly. You engaged your muscles and slowly lifted your tail up and down. The feeling and sight of your tail moving made your skin crawl. It was still so surreal to see it instead of your legs. “Good. Just keep doing that and you’ll be swimming in no time.” 

  
  


A week passed and the freak show made it to Florida. Currently, you, Erwin, and a few others were back at camp while a few others took a day trip to Disney World.

“I just wish I could’ve gone with them,” you grumbled as you swam very slow laps in your tank. “I haven’t been to a theme park in God knows how long.”

“Didn’t Eren promise he’d film everything so you could pretend you were there?” Erwin asked. “Move your hips a little more. It’ll make your motions more fluid.”

“Yeah, he did, but it’s still not the same,” you told him, getting ready to try another tiny lap. “I still can’t get on the rides, or walk around eating overpriced but delicious churros. It’s just not the same.”

“Personally, I think it’s better you stayed behind,” he commented. “You need to practice swimming and you need to move on.”

“I’m sorry?” you asked him. “It sounds to me like you’re still trying to live like a human,” he replied. “Wanting to go out, hanging with the teens, that sort of thing.”

“Yeah, you’re right. This has nothing to do with the fact that I’m a teenager who  _got her fucking legs cut off,”_ you said sarcastically. “I don’t want to be a mermaid. I want to be a normal teenager and I’ll be damned if I don’t try to live like one.”

“But you’re _not_ a normal teenager.”

“You don’t think I know that?”

“No, I know you know that. But that’s not a healthy way to live life. You’re better off leaving your old life behind and starting fresh.” 

“You barely know me. You don’t know what’s good for me,” you said angrily, pointing an angry finger at him. 

“I’m just trying to help you.” His voice was calm as usual, but you detected a faint hint of impatience in his eyes.

“How about you just let me live my life the way I want to?” you demanded. 

“Are you capable of that? Can you really live the way you want to?”

“ . . . No,” you admitted reluctantly. “I can’t. Not with this fucking tail. I don’t think I wanna know where Dr. Yeager got it in the first place.”

“You don’t,” Erwin interjected.

“But I’m going to at least try and live like I used to. I’m not going to let this drag me down,” you said. You swam over to your hammock and sat on it; you didn’t feel like swimming anymore. “I can’t go back home. I’ll probably stay with this freak show for the rest of my life. Getting shown off like the freak I am.” 

“You’re not a freak.”

“You were born like this, you’re natural. I got my body fucked up. I’m literally half-girl half-mermaid.” A searing ache starting crawling through your throat.  _Come on, you can’t cry,_ you told yourself harshly. “I can’t go back to my old life. Not like this, and even if I could I doubt Dr. Yeager would allow me to. I’m going to be stuck here forever. I’m going to be shown off like a freak for the rest of my life. Aren’t I entitled to find happiness wherever I can?” Erwin said nothing as he got off of his hammock and swam over to yours. He sat next to you, fingers looping themselves in the net-like fabric you two were sitting on.

“You deserve happiness [First], but you aren’t going to find it by staying the same. You need to adapt to your surroundings. That’s the only way you’re going to find contentment.” 

  
  


The rest of the journey to the Bahamas went fairly smoothly. Your other roommates, Annie, Bertolt, and Reiner, didn’t talk too much so you and Erwin weren’t exactly sure where you two were performing. But the area looked lush and green and you longed to explore it. You were becoming a better swimmer everyday but you were still a long ways away from accepting your current position. If you could get turned into a mermaid, surely you get turned back into a human, right? 

The stage in the Bahamas was incredibly decrepit. It looked like it had been abandoned for two hundred years and you doubted anything was safe. But according to the crew it was, and they started setting up for the show. 

“All right, let’s go over the show lineup,” Dr. Yeager said as everyone was crowded into your RV. You and Erwin hung onto the edge of your tank, listening with intent. “We’re going to start off with me giving introductions. Eren will go afterwards, Annie after that, followed by an aerial solo from Petra, then Marco will do his bit, and Jean will follow. Time permitting we may have Reiner, Annie, and Marco perform a piece and then Carla and I doing some magic. But our finale, I know we usually just show off the merpeople, but this time I want Erwin, [First], Petra, and Eren to sing a quartet together if possible. And then we’ll show them off at the end as per the norm.”  _Singing? Really? Am I supposed to be a siren then,_ you wondered. 

“Dr. Yeager, when’s our show?” Annie asked, raising her hand slightly. 

“It’s five days from now. You have ample time to get your bits ready,” Dr. Yeager replied, making alarm shoot through your system. _Five days?! I have five days to learn a song?!_ And _be able to swim around for large amounts of time?! Isn’t that really pushing it?_ Erwin seemed to pick up on your distress and patted your back.

“It’ll be enough time. Don’t worry about it,” he said. His voice was soothing but you couldn’t believe his words. 

“Five days is a short time, though,” you whispered back.

“You have the skills. You can do it.” His warm hand rubbed your back as Dr. Yeager continued to talk. Erwin’s gesture felt soothing and you found yourself melting into it, almost. Your body relaxed and somehow, you felt like everything was going to be okay. 

  
  


“Uh, [First]? You’re a bit flat on that last note,” Petra said, looking down at you from her spot at the piano. You, Erwin, Eren, and Petra were rehearsing the new skit for the freak show involving the four of you singing. The show was in two days and all you four had to now was perfect the piece. 

“Sorry. Can you play my note again?” you asked, trying to see the piano music in front of her.

“Yeah, here it is.” She played the note and you cringed.  _That’s a little high._ You took a deep breath and tried it again. “Lift a little more You’re almost there.” You tried again and Petra gave you a warm smile.

“There you go! You got it! Let’s try it again from the top!” As she restarted the song, fingers plunking away at the piano, Erwin started coughing. A few drops of blood spewed from his mouth and onto the crook of his elbow. Petra blanched and halted her song. “Eren, get your dad,” she said quietly. He wasted no time in getting up and running off to fetch his father. 

“I’m fine, Petra. It’s nothing to worry about,” Erwin tried to reassure her.  _What’s going on?_ He coughed again and more blood came up.

“Erwin, you just coughed up blood! We aren’t going to lose you like we lost Hange . . . and Levi . . .” Petra said, her voice barely above a whisper.  _This is how Hange and Levi died,_ you thought, nausea wracking your stomach. Dr. Yeager and Reiner, led by Eren, ran into the practice area. Reiner and Dr. Yeager hauled Erwin out of the tank and rushed him somewhere offstage, leaving without a word. Part of you wanted to go with them, but you’d just cause a distraction and what mattered most was Erwin getting healed. 

“That’s . . . that’s how the other two died?” you asked Petra. She sighed, then nodded.

“Yes. Hange was the first to go. She got sick and at first we thought it was a minor thing, but then one day Erwin and Levi woke us up yelling and when we went to go check on them, Hange was dead with blood all around her mouth.” She shakily inhaled. “And then Levi got sick and started coughing up blood . . . h-he died a few days afterwards.” 

“Since you’re not a real mermaid, you probably won’t get it,” Eren reassured you. “Because you weren’t born one and raised the way they were, I don’t think your health’s going to fail like theirs is.” 

“I just hope Erwin’s okay. I don’t know what I’d do without him,” you admitted softly. 

“Maybe he just needs some fresh saltwater,” Petra suggested. “We have you guys in a saltwater tank but maybe he needs something fresh.” 

“Or we just need to let him go home,” Eren muttered under his breath. Petra whacked his arm, a dark look on her face.

“Remember what happened when we tried to do that?” she hissed at him.

“What do you mean by that?” you inquired.

“After Hange died and right when Levi started coughing up blood, we thought that maybe helping them back home would help them. You know, like when great white sharks get sick in captivity and you have to put them back in the ocean,” Eren told you. “Petra, Mikasa, Armin, and I tried sneaking them out but we got caught and long story short, it was bad. But we could always try again.” Petra was silent and still for a few moments. 

“I don’t want Erwin to die and I don’t want [First] to go through what I went through,” she said quietly, eyes downcast. “If you come up with a plan, Eren, I’ll help you out.” 

“Armin and I will come up with something good this time,” Eren promised. His green eyes slid over to you. “Are you up for a jail break, [First]?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I'm so sorry this took forever! I'm not going to lie, I totally lost my motivation for this fic but with all the other stuff piling on my plate I knew I had to finish this. I don't know when the last chapter will be done: I'm three weeks behind schedule for my other fic and I have another miniseries I wanted to finish before March ended. So I'm sorry for the late update and no definite answer for when the last chapter will come out. But I _will_ finish the series.


	3. Chapter 3

It was early the next morning when Petra slinked into your room, past the heavily sleeping figures of Annie, Bertolt, and Reiner.

“How’s Erwin doing?” you asked as soon as she shut the door. She nodded, taking off her flip flops and sitting on the edge of your tank, feet dangling in the warm water.

“He’s doing better. Dr. Yeager gave him some medicine and it seemed to help stop the coughing. He’s been on the verge of running a fever, but he hasn’t hit those numbers yet.”

“And what about the . . . _external_ _medicine?”_ Although your three roommates were asleep, you didn’t want to risk them overhearing your plans about escaping. They were nice, but you didn’t know if you could trust them just yet.

“We’re still trying to find the right ingredients,” Petra replied with a wink. “We think we’ll have it ready in a month.”

“A  _month?!_ But he, no,  _we_ need it soon!”

“We just need to be careful and find the right amounts of everything. Can’t be too cautious. But in a month we’ll have the cure ready.”

“But he might be dead by then!” you protested.

“We’re doing the best we can, [First]. Believe me, I want to heal you two as soon as possible, but things are just taking a long time to coordinate.” You sighed, but nodded. There wasn’t anything you could do to speed this process up.

“All right. Thank you again, Petra. And let the others know that too.”

“I will. And I’ll keep you up to date on the process.”

It was three days before Erwin was moved back into your tank. He was still as pale as a sheet, but according to Dr. Yeager he had stopped coughing and throwing up blood. It was a huge relief to see him again. Reiner placed him into the water and he made a beeline for his hammock. 

“I’ll come back and check on you tomorrow morning,” Dr. Yeager said. “For now, I’m going to pull you from the show. Get some rest, both of you.” He and Reiner left, shutting the door behind them. You wasted no time in going to Erwin’s side. 

“How’re you feeling?” you asked him. 

“I’ve felt better,” he admitted. “But I’m feeling better than I was.”

“That’s great,” you said with a sigh of relief. “Hopefully this is just a passing illness and you won’t get sick again.” He gave you a stern look.

“We both know that’s not the case,” he said. “We both know I’m going to keep getting sick and die if something doesn’t happen.” As much as you hated to admit it, he was probably right. No, he  was right. Glancing towards the door to make sure it was closed, you leaned down and spoke to Erwin in a quiet voice.

“Petra, Armin, Eren, and Mikasa are planning to get us out of here. Petra said she thought it would take a month or so, but maybe we’ll be able to get out of here sooner,” you informed him. 

“Well, I’d rather die in the ocean than in this miserable excuse for a tank,” he said, almost glaring at his surroundings.

“Well the idea is that getting you back home will make you better somehow,” you said. You doubted he’d like it if you said “it’s like how an animal in captivity gets better once it’s back in its habitat.” Hell, even  you were offended by that phrase.

“I doubt it, but as I said, I’d rather be anywhere but here,” he shrugged. There was a quiet knock on the door and Annie came in, her costume for the night’s performance on.

“It’s time to go get ready, [First],” she said, putting a mirror and some makeup on the lip of the tank.

“Who’s going to be taking care of Erwin while I’m performing?” you inquired.

“I don’t know. I’ll text Dr. Yeager and find out for you.”

“Thank you.” She left the room, her fingers tapping against her phone screen. 

“I can take care of myself. You don’t have to worry,” Erwin told you. You turned to face him and shook your head. 

“I know you can but I’m still going to worry if someone isn’t here to make sure you aren’t coughing up blood again,” you said. “You’re not in the clear yet.” 

“You should get ready for the show. I don’t want to delay you,” he said, gesturing to your makeup.

“I guess,” you shrugged. As you put on the water resistant makeup Annie slipped back into your room, her cell phone in her hands.

“He says that no one’s going to watch him,” she told you.

“Then tell him I’m not performing unless someone’s watching him,” you replied, folding your arms in front of your chest.

“That’s going to piss him off. You know that, right?” 

“I know. But I don’t want Erwin alone.”

“I’m fine with being on my own,” he spoke up. 

“Yeah, well I’m not fine with it,” you said sternly. “I don’t want you to start coughing up blood and then no one’s here to help you.” 

“I’ll be fine, [First],” he said. “Go and perform tonight. I’ll be okay by myself.” You bit your lip. You wanted to know he’d be safe. But he wasn’t going to budge. As much as you cared for him, you weren’t going to do him any favors by being stubborn like this.

“All right. Fine. Annie, can you go get Reiner? I’m pretty much ready to go,” you told her.

The performance went off without a hitch. Part of you was thankful you didn’t have to sing tonight. But still, it was so weird to have people walk around your tank, their eyes prying into you. Now you knew how animals at a zoo or aquarium felt. It was plain uncomfortable and when the last person left you were silently relieved. Reiner carried you back to your room as usual. Once he left, Erwin spoke up.

 “Why did you insist I couldn’t be alone earlier?” he asked. You shrugged, rubbing a makeup remover wipe over your face.

“I just wanted someone here in case you got sick again,” you explained. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. I just wanted you to be a bit safer.” He said nothing, as if drinking in your words. 

“You’re a very caring girl,” he said finally. 

“Thanks, I try,” you replied with a smirk. He chuckled.  


Over the next few weeks Erwin slowly started getting better. He was even able to go back to performing. He would let you take care of him when he was feeling under the weather, but he never fully relapsed back into the illness.  _Maybe he’s getting better,_ you thought one night as you stared up at the moon through one of your windows.  _I’d like him to get better._ But you also wanted him to go home; hell,  _you_ wanted to go home. Or to his. There was no going back to your old life, as much as you hated to admit it. And if Erwin relapsed and died, you’d be entirely alone. Alone and devastated. He was getting better, but regardless, you both needed to be free.

“Are you still awake?” he asked, sleep dripping from his deep voice.

“Yeah. I can’t fall asleep, it seems,” you said. “The stars are pretty tonight.” 

“I can imagine,” he replied, rolling onto his side. “But you need to sleep. You’ve barely slept the past few nights.”

“So?”

“It’s unhealthy. Just lie down and relax. Sleep will come to you eventually.” If you hadn’t been so exhausted, you would have fought him on this.  _I can oblige him just this once,_ you thought. You shut the curtains and went to your hammock, plopping down onto it. You had just closed your eyes when Erwin coughed. Immediately you turned to look at him. A chill froze your heart as you saw droplets of blood on his hands. 

“Reiner! Annie! Bertolt! He’s coughing up blood! Get Dr. Yeager!” you screamed, your words cutting your throat. You heard someone run out of the RV and Bertolt and Reiner stumbled into your room, trying their best to comprehend what was going on. Erwin was still coughing, blood dribbling down his chin. 

Your heart was painfully pounding in your chest as you swam over to him, grabbing his torso and pulling him off of his hammock and over to the edge of the tank. Your arms were shaking as you handed him over the Bertolt and Reiner. Annie came crashing in, yelling for the boys to bring Erwin to Dr. Yeager’s RV. They picked him out of the water like a ragdoll and were out of the room in seconds. Annie stayed behind. She sat on the lip of the tank, right next to you.

“You all right there, [First]?” she asked.

“I-I’m just worried about him,” you admitted, looking down at the water and avoiding her eyes.

“I know we don’t really know each other, but I’m sorry about what you’re going through,” she told you. “Do you want me to go wake up Petra and Eren and bring them here? I know you’re close with them.”

“I’d really appreciate that,” you nodded. She got up and left. A few minutes later, she returned with your friends in tow. She let you all have some alone time, leaving the RV to you all. 

“Are you okay,” Mikasa asked and Petra wrapped her arms under your armpits and drew you into a hug. 

“I’m terrified,” you said, voice cracking. “I can’t lose Erwin. I just _can’t.”_

“I don’t think we can wait until everything’s safe,” Eren said, looking from Mikasa to Petra to you. “This is just like the past times. We need to get Erwin to the ocean and hope that heals him.”

“What if it doesn’t? What if he dies anyway,” you asked.

“Then at least he’s free,” Mikasa said. “It’s horrific you two are stuck here anyway. But Eren’s right. We need to get you two to the ocean where you belong and we can’t wait any longer.”

You, Petra, Mikasa, Eren, and Armin spent a week planning your escape and waiting for Erwin to be well enough to be moved back in with you. It was mostly a week of waiting. It didn’t take too long to plan the escape, but with Erwin’s condition being as precarious as a piece of paper balancing on a pencil, you had to wait a week to make any move. Petra and you were playing cards to pass the time when Dr. Yeager and Reiner brought Erwin back into the tank. They said nothing, only looking dejected and putting him back with you. They left soon after.

“I’ll give you two some space,” she said, leaving the room as well. Your arms wrapped around his chest, burying your face in his chest. Tears stung your eyes and you fought back tears. He hugged you back, a hand resting on top of your head.

“I was so scared,” you told him quietly. 

“I’m here,” he replied calmly. 

“We need to go,” you said. “We need to get out of here.”

“That doesn’t guarantee -”

“We need to get out,” you repeated yourself. "We don't have any other options. I can't lose you, Erwin." He remained silent for a few moments.

“I don’t know if it’d heal me, but we do need to get out of here,” he agreed. 

It was the dead of night when Petra, Mikasa, and Eren snuck into your room, splashing at the water to wake you up. Your eyes shot open.  _This is it. We’re getting out of here,_ you thought with excitement boiling in your belly. You rolled out of your hammock and swam over to them. Erwin beat you to the punch; Mikasa and Eren were already hauling him out of the water by the time you reached the edge. Petra grabbed you under your armpits and got you out of the water. You felt almost helpless as she carried you, tiptoeing past your sleeping roommates. 

Armin was right outside of the RV. Once Petra was out of the RV Armin helped lessen her load, grabbing your tail. They hauled you to a pickup truck behind Petra’s RV. There was a tarp lining the truck bed and there was a little water in the back. Erwin was already in the makeshift tank, Eren and Mikasa grabbing a camper shell as Armin and Petra placed you gently in the truck bed. 

“Lie low. You can’t be seen,” Armin whispered. 

“Got it,” you replied just as quietly. As you lied down the four put the camper shell over the truck bed. A few moments later, the truck roared to life and you started moving, driving away from the freak show. 

“I can’t believe this is happening,” you sighed in relief, fingers curling around Erwin’s. “We’re going to be free.”

“We’re not there yet,” he replied, squeezing your hand. “We still have to get in the ocean and then find my home.”

“True. But we’re almost there,” you told him. “Once this journey is over, I’ll be so relieved.”

“We both will be,” he said. “I won’t be able to breathe easy until we get home.” The rest of the drive went smoothly. The truck pulled onto the beach and in seconds, the camper shell was taken off and the four hauled you two out. The ocean was serene, softly pulling and pushing on the sand. It almost looked like the ocean was inviting you into the water. 

The six of you hurried over to it. They placed you gently in the ocean, a shiver running down your spine at the touch of the cold water. 

“Thank you for doing this,” Erwin said, smiling warmly at the four.

“It’s the least we can do,” Eren shrugged. “Be careful. We’re going to miss you, but we know this is what’s best.”

“We wish you all the best,” you told them, hugging Petra as she leaned down to hug you. “Take care.”

“You too,” she said, standing up. It was bittersweet to leave them, and you couldn’t help but looking back at them while you and Erwin swam away. You were going to miss them, as you were the human world, but you had to leave that behind. It wasn't just in hopes Erwin would get better (although you'd be lying if you said this wasn't a huge motivation for you. No, you had to face yourself. You weren’t human; you were a mermaid now. It was time to start over fresh, and by going back with Erwin to his home, that’s what you were going to do: move forward and accept your fate as a mermaid. 

The sunset was gorgeous, streaks of purples, pinks, and oranges painting the sky. A few years had passed since you and Erwin made it to the sea and each one was better than the last. The two of you had gotten married and, with time, started a family. It was a simple life but a wonderful one nonetheless. The small grotto where your family was hidden out was cozy. You and Erwin portioned the food while your two kids hung around, eagerly awaiting dinner. 

“Mommy?” your oldest son asked, his blue eyes looking at you curiously as you gave him a small wood platter on fish and fruit. 

“Yes, sweetie?” you replied, ruffling his hair. 

“Some of my friends were talking about their parents and I was just wondering, how did you and Daddy meet?” _Well, that’s not a heavy subject,_ you thought.

“Why don’t you ask him?” you said, turning all of the responsibility to Erwin. He didn’t look very happy at this but you ignored that. “Daddy _does_ tell the best stories.”

“Yeah! Tell us, Daddy!” your middle daughter squealed with delight, swimming over to him and tugging on his arm. He sighed and, with his kids’ attention solely on him, he gave in.

“I can’t argue with your mother,” he said, almost jokingly. “This is a long story, though. Are you sure you want to hear it?” 

“Yes! Yes!” your kids screeched with delight, stars in their eyes as they begged Erwin. He chuckled and caught your eye, giving you a warm grin. You gave him one too before he looked back to his kids with an affection smile.

“I can't say no to that. Well, it started a long time ago when I led a group of fellow merpeople away from our home to establish some colonies west of here . . .” 

  



End file.
